As you can see I am having a brain fart. I've been looking at every ones great meaningful blog posts lately and I start thinking to myself I can do that why can't I do that. Why didn't I think of that? Why didn't I do that with my kids. So I know I shouldn't compare my life with yours but it is so hard when you all are or look like your having so much fun. So I am setting a goal I am going to live my life not just sit back and watch yours I know lame I should have been doing this from the beginning but I'm sorry, and most mothers out there will agree. (please agree so I am not throwing myself under a bus). But it is hard to get out of the house with any amount of children to tote around you have there stuff and your stuff, will you be out when its lunch time? Will you be out during there nap time? DO you even want to try going when it could be these times? I know I feel guilty when my kids miss there nap because they get so crabby and then I get frustrated and it never ends good so I have a small window to go and do. And so for about 6months now I have just given in only going to the gym and then I'm home. But I am recommitting to myself that I will go out and if strangers look at me who cares I can't be perfect I don't even want to be. I want to be a mom and sorry folks that job isn't always pretty. But it is worth it. I love the times that I get out of no where a child coming up to me and giving me a kiss and saying I love you mom. I love being the one that gets to see the firsts... First tooth, first step, first word, first ''I love you". First time that when you teach them something they get it and you can see it in there face. So I admit I am no writer. I am mainly doing this for my kids and I want them to know that I love love love being there mom. Even when there are days yes that I don't get out of my jammies, and yes there are times that I might raise my voice to load. But in the end I LOVE MY FAMILY....
And I am doing this for me I am going to take my kids places to see things, to be involved,to learn something new and to just have fun with them. As Riley is only 4 once and Brody is only 2 once and Hyde is growing and soon will be 1 and time just goes so fast and I want to be present in the moment with my kids not just doing the motions. So if the laundry goes unfolded, the dishes not washed for a day or the floors not vacuumed for a day it will be OK. I will be OK. Because I will have known that in that time I was pushing my kids on the swing or playing a game with them on the floor or coloring at the table but I will be present with them not just with them...
Thursday, April 17, 2008
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