Merrianne is having a give away people. SO run and check her out.
Friday, January 2, 2009
Needing to vent....... This is for me so if you don't want to hear it then stop reading..
So with everything going on life has been crazy. I seriously took down last years calendar and went to replace it and just looked at the months and what we had done. It made me sick. There where few and very far between that there was a day of nothing. I think that is what I honestly need right now is nothing. But am thinking that will not happen anytime soon. A few nights ago Brody was up later then everyone else as he had wet the bed and so as it was only 8 we decided to just wash everything then and not wait until morning and let him stay up it was also the day we got to bring him home from the hospital and be on that emotional roller coaster. So I guess both Robert and I where just glad he was whole and here. Yes maybe sick but right now he was here and we were not having to worry about the what if's. I have never had to do anything like this in my life and it is so much harder then I ever thought it would be. I look at other moms and dads who are going through much worse or have gone through and I am amazed at there positive outlook on life. I want that.
I need that.. But all I can think about it the bad. The very bad.
Why Brody????
I need to do laundry.
I need to take the Christmas stuff down.
I need to make dinner atleast once this week the leftovers are going to get old sooner then later.
Its hard to go on with normal life. Its hard to do the laundry when all you want to do it sit and hold your babies not knowing really what is going on inside there little bodies or when they will be called home to our Father in Heaven. I hope it gets easier with the more answers you get.
Maybe this is all to make me more patient. I don't want to me patient. I want to be on the phone calling the same doctors office that is on vacation until Monday for the holiday to see if someone might just answer the phone but I wont.
I need to make goals for this year but it is so hard to when you don't know where others will be guiding you and your decisions. If Brody wants enough right now to worry about, Roberts work is talking changes. Which would mean moving. My church calling isn't exactly what was asked and I am still trying to figure out just what they want.
I am glad for great friends as with out them I think I would be pulling my hair out right now. I mean I am to the point where I have done everything I feel I can I mean really how many times can I google Kidney problems and read it ALL over and over. I guess what I really need is to just leave it up to the lord. But man that is hard.
Why is it so easy for Robert to fall asleep anywhere.
Why can't I sleep?
Why if we weren't supposed to get answers fast did I with my naked eye see something the doctor said should have been impossible?
Why do I feel like this is going to be a LONG journey?
Why are we so far away from family?
I should make cookies.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry if this doesn't make much since to those who actually read this I am sorry. This is what is on my mind. I just needed to get it out and down somewhere.
I need that.. But all I can think about it the bad. The very bad.
Why Brody????
I need to do laundry.
I need to take the Christmas stuff down.
I need to make dinner atleast once this week the leftovers are going to get old sooner then later.
Its hard to go on with normal life. Its hard to do the laundry when all you want to do it sit and hold your babies not knowing really what is going on inside there little bodies or when they will be called home to our Father in Heaven. I hope it gets easier with the more answers you get.
Maybe this is all to make me more patient. I don't want to me patient. I want to be on the phone calling the same doctors office that is on vacation until Monday for the holiday to see if someone might just answer the phone but I wont.
I need to make goals for this year but it is so hard to when you don't know where others will be guiding you and your decisions. If Brody wants enough right now to worry about, Roberts work is talking changes. Which would mean moving. My church calling isn't exactly what was asked and I am still trying to figure out just what they want.
I am glad for great friends as with out them I think I would be pulling my hair out right now. I mean I am to the point where I have done everything I feel I can I mean really how many times can I google Kidney problems and read it ALL over and over. I guess what I really need is to just leave it up to the lord. But man that is hard.
Why is it so easy for Robert to fall asleep anywhere.
Why can't I sleep?
Why if we weren't supposed to get answers fast did I with my naked eye see something the doctor said should have been impossible?
Why do I feel like this is going to be a LONG journey?
Why are we so far away from family?
I should make cookies.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry if this doesn't make much since to those who actually read this I am sorry. This is what is on my mind. I just needed to get it out and down somewhere.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
The latest on Brody
Today we packed everything up got the babysitter ready and left for the Children's Hospital. When we got there Brody had fallen asleep in the car so I grabbed him and took him in he said he was cold but it was outside was in the 70's. We got in and checked in and I felt him and he was burning up. They took is temperature and it was 103.0 so we where sent home. And told to go see our pediatrician and figure out why he was having a fever. So this is where we are now. The biopsy has been put off until we get him over this whatever it is.
We are going to the doctor at 4 and will let you know what we find out then.
In other news this was a huge blessing in decise as today we walk in there thinking that we only have to pay one amount and where told that it was going to be almost 2000 dollars. Wow! But now that it wont be until after the 1st we will be on a new health insurance plan and it will only be 200 dollars. I am so greatful for a loveing watchful Heavenly Father.
We are going to the doctor at 4 and will let you know what we find out then.
In other news this was a huge blessing in decise as today we walk in there thinking that we only have to pay one amount and where told that it was going to be almost 2000 dollars. Wow! But now that it wont be until after the 1st we will be on a new health insurance plan and it will only be 200 dollars. I am so greatful for a loveing watchful Heavenly Father.
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